A Beautiful Life (2) - Neelam Kalia Sudhir

It's past midnight. A young couple are driving back home from a party. The wife has an 8 months old baby in her arms. Their sons, 4 and 6 years old, are sleeping at the back.

"Mazza aa gaya aaj, nahin?" The wife asks.
"Haan, even Shikha enjoyed so much. Did you see how she was laughing when I was dancing with her?" the husband replies.
As they near the house, the wife speaks again. "I have to change Shikha's nappy. You'll have to carry the boys inside."
"Yes dear. I'll take care of them. Tussi chinta matt kar."
A little later, the wife calls him from the top of the stairs. "Pass me a nappy. There aren't any upstairs."
"Here... catch," says the husband chucking a diaper.
"Aren't you coming to bed?" she asks, as she catches it.
"I'll just watch the news and come."

Next morning the wife comes downstairs and notices the husband asleep on the sofa. "You slept here all night? ... Want some tea?"
There's no answer. The wife realises he's not snoring. She senses something's wrong. Panic begins to build up as she notices he's not moving or breathing either.

He's no more.

NEELAM KALIA SUDHIR.

I get to know her through JJKN forum on IF. Once while sharing memories from our childhood, I joke about a particular nursery rhyme.  Neelam has no clue what I'm talking about. "Didn't you learn it in kindergarten?" I ask.

"I went to a Punjabi medium school. It was a government school, attended by slum dwellers and the poorest of the poor."

Say what? I'm intrigued. I want to know more. Neelam tells me her parents used to live in Pakistan. They came to Jalandhar  in 1947 as refugees. She is the 8th child out of 9 siblings. As a kid she's a bit of a tomboy as she spends much of her time with her 3 brothers. She plays cricket on the streets with them and falls in love with the game. A love that is very much alive even today.

Neelam's father and family in Hoshiarpur, India

In class 10, Neelam tops in her class, is ranked 4th out of 150 students and wins a scholarship for higher studies. In class 11, she receives the Brown Belt for Judo. Her father does not want her to go to college, but thanks to her mother's support she completes her Masters in English.

It is while doing her B. Ed that she gets married to an NRI and moves to Canada with many a dream in her eyes. Okay, this woman definitely has supernatural powers. Remember, she has already done her Masters. And now, after marriage,  she takes up a job with an accounting firm, studies accounting part-time as well as takes care of her home and kids. Hats off to you Neelam! I couldn't even cope as a full-time mom.

Then comes that fateful night on the 9th of April 1995, when her husband dies in his sleep and her life is changed forever. Neelam is devastated. As she herself says - "Mere pairon talle zameen khisak gai."  She feels her life has no meaning  anymore and cries all day. She neglects her kids, her work and herself. She shuns social gatherings as she feels everyone is staring at her.

It takes Neelam a couple of years to come out of her shock, stop mourning for her husband and take stock of her life again. Her salary is a little more than minimum wages and not enough to survive on. Her siblings want her to re-marry but Neelam decides not to, for the sake of her children. Instead, she goes back to her full time job and continues her studies by attending night classes. In June 2000, she completes her CGA and gets promoted to the post of Controller.

Time moves on. When her husband died, Neelam "used to get so terrified just by thinking how I will raise a girl in this country without a father. I used to dream that she is grown up and has ears, nose, lips, eye brows, belly button pierced and has so many Tattoos and ugly hair and dresses. But thank my Lord Krishna, with His Blessings and grace, she turned out to be a nicest young woman who can be a dream of any mother."  Not just her daughter, but the boys too grow up into charming individuals, each with a distinct and endearing personality.

Fast forward to 2011. Another blow. Neelam's boss sells his shares in the company and the department in which she works is moved to the headquarters. Result - Neelam is now jobless. But does that make our Punjabi sherni, with a never say die attitude, throw up her hands in despair? Of course not. She's the type of person who transforms misfortunes into opportunities. So what does she do while she's looking for another job? She does an MBA.

To say she had a difficult life would be an understatement. But it has not made her bitter or cynical. On the contrary, those who know her will agree that she's full of life and a very positive, supportive and warm person. She believes that "when we love someone and that person is not with you, a part of you dies but no matter what, love never dies and it teaches you biggest and most important lessons of life. Life’s greatest tragedies can be life’s greatest gifts, and it teaches us to redefine our beliefs and it helps us grow and move forward in life."

Neelam Kalia Sudhir. An ordinary woman leading an ordinary life. And yet EXTRAORDINARY. She started her education in a Punjabi medium government school. She lost her husband when her daughter was only 8 months old. Today she has a Masters in English, a CGA as well as an MBA. She's currently working as a Controller for Nexcycle Plastics, which is the largest recycling company in North America and is also a licensed real estate agent. AND the mother of three kids whose accomplishments would make any mother's heart burst with pride.

What a woman! What an inspiration!! What a beautiful life!!!

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A Beautiful Life (1) - Sonu NIgam

Keep smiling friends. Keep ROFLing. Life is Beautiful :)