Sunday, 29 December 2019

Sonu Sir ki Paathshala



Prishid gayak Sonu Nigam se, haal hi mein ek concert mein, ek bahut hi jatil prashan poocha gaya  - Red Bull ke can ko kaise kholte hein? Sonu ne badi sahajta se apne darsakon ko samjhaya:

Don't tell me, saat samandar paar, yey poochne ki liye mujhe bulaya hai? Aap sabne toh mujhe pashopash mein daal diya.

Relax. Batata hoon. Shant ho jaiye. Aap sab paarangat hein, ilmi hein. Aasani se samajh jayenge..

Red Bull ke can ke dhakkan pe jo tab hota hai, usse aise uthayen...

Phir usko aise dabayen.


That's it. Got it?

And that's all from Hansa as well. Wishing our wonderful Sonuholic family a very Happy New Year.

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Keep smiling friends. Keep ROFL. Life is Beautiful 😊

Saturday, 16 March 2019

Dastaan-e-Sonuholic


One fine sunny day in the middle of a dark stormy night, a Sonuholic stumbles upon Sonu's Facebook profile -
Kismat se tum humko miley ho...

He gets all excited and tries to send Sonu a request, but Facebook keeps saying -
Mushkil hai mushkil hai...


He desperately wants Sonu to add him on Facebook -
Kaise mai kahoon tujhse...

Finally his request goes through -
Ab Mujhe raat din request ka hi khayal hai...

Everyone else's request gets accepted, but not his -
Bhagwan, hai kahaan re tu?...


Then even his best friend's request gets accepted -
Har ek friend, kameena hota hai...

Kameena best friend keeps saying, Sonu Sir liked my post -
Dheere dheere, dheere dheere, dheere jalna... 😈

By now Sonuholic is like -
Jal Jal ke dhuaan ho rahe hum... 😡

And then, lo and behold Sonu adds him -
Tum jo miley, manzil mili
Aisa deewana hua hai yey dil...


He even likes his post... yippeeee -
Nagada nagada nagada baja... 🙌

Sonu comments on it. Sonuholic ki toh nikal padhi.
Hum pe meherbaan Sonu Sir
Shukran Allah...

AND surprise surprise, Sonu even shares his post. Sonuholic is now floating somewhere between heaven and earth -
Kuch aisi lagan, iss lamhe mein hai,
Yey lamha kahaan tha mera?
Ab hai saamne, isse choo loon zara,
Mar jaun ya jee loon zara...

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Nagmo ki ek Shaam... Sonu Nigam ke Naam


Keep smiling friends. Keep ROFL. Life is Beautiful 😊

Sunday, 25 November 2018

Sonu's Fans Present... Unmusically Yours

Poster Credit: Praveen Solanki


Sonuholics want to put up a show for Mr. Sonu Nigam on New Year's eve. Rehearsals are in progress...

Aurangzeb is the anchor and is practising his welcoming speech.

Aurangzeb - Sangeet ke baadshah...
Raaj - You mean Sangita ke Shehzaade?
Aurangzeb - Nahin! Sangeet ke baadshah.
Raaj - Mai bhi toh wahi keh raha hoon 🙄

Omkar - Right Sonuholics, let's start. Just sing your song one after the other, okay? Who's first?

Soureek - Sandese aate hein...
Debojit - Shotti? Sonu Sir ke sasuraal se? I love sandesh. My favourite mithai.
Soureek - 😕

Omkar - (rolls his eyes) Next.

Ravi - What is mobile number...
Kanwal - Phitte muh. Sharm nahin na aandi? Sundar kudi dekhi nahin ki seedha what is mobile                         number. Thodi sharm-o-haya baaki hai toh pooch - what is wattsapp number.
Ravi - 😰

Omkar - Who's next?

Jatin - Sapna jahaan, dastak na de...
Tina - Devarji, Sapna aisi hi hai. No manners... bina knock kiye ghusi chali aati hai.
Smyr - Jatin? Yey Sapna kaun hai?

Gaurav - Mai thehra raha, zameen chalne lagi...
Vadlapudi - Feeling dizzy?
Gaurav - Dhadka yeh dil, saans thamne lagi...
Vadlapudi - Aiyo, breathing problem? Go to a doctor ma. It could be something serious.

Omkar (looks at them, perplexed. Scratches his head) Next singer.

Ankush is looking Radiyah singing Totta.
Ankush - Tu kudi hai totta, nakhra mota...
Radiyah glares at Ankush.
Balaram - Ankhiyon se goli maare...
Radiyah - Aajke ladke, I tell you...
Shakes her head and flounces off to the other side of the room.

Shalin - Abhi...
Abhishek - Haan, bol.
Shalin - Abhi, mujh mein kaheen...
Abhishek - Arre koi kami nahin hai tujh mein. Wedding nerves hein, aur kya. Itni overthinking matt                       kar.

Praveen - Chup-chupke chup-chupke chori se chori...
Sajid - Bhai, bandh kar do yey chori-chupe videos upload karna. Sony phirse account pe taala laga              dega.
Praveen - 😟

Saurabh Dixit and Ankitaa start singing at the same time.
Saurabh - Pehle aap.
Ankitaa -Pehle aap.
Saurabh - Nahin nahin, pehle aap.
Hitesh - Takalluf chodiye... aji taaruf kijiye.
Leena - Inn dono ke pehle aap pehle aap mein play ki band baj jaani hai 😏

Omkar - Exactly. Let's move onto the next singer guys. We're running out of time. 

Falak - Jhappiyon sa desh hai mera...
Nahida Yahaan pe ishq hi hai Rab aur Khuda soniya.
Utkarsh - Arre wah! Tab toh turant England ka ticket katvaana padega. 😉
Falak and Nahida stare at Utkarsh. 
Falak - Oh ladke deewaane, kahaan se aaya tu?
Utkarsh - 😱

Manisha is busy scrolling through Facebook posts. Rubs her eyes.
Deepaks - Gulabi aankhen, jo teri dekhi...
Usha - Gulabi kya, red bolo. Din bhar phone se chipki rahegi toh yahi hona hai. Jaake eye drops                    daal.

There's silence.
Omkar - What happened? Who's next?
Meher - I think Zahra Noor.
Zahra is jet-legged and has fallen asleep.
Meher - Sunn Zahra. Bibi sunn Zahra... 
             Aaj khamoshiyon se, aa rahi hai sadaa...
Zahra gets up with a start.
Zahra - Sau dard hein... I forget. My Hindi's not so good.
Victoria - Just improvise darling. Improvise.
Zahra - Sau dard hein, sau Sonuholics...
              Sab miley, dilnashin, ek Sonu nahin.

In the meantime, SONU has heard about the rehearsals and decides to surprise his fans.

He makes his grand entry.

Picture Credit: Puja Roy

At first there is pin drop silence. Everybody's too shocked to react. This is followed by wild cheering and clapping.

Sonu - Poornima chadar tarar mela akashe...
Dhadaam.
Poornima has fainted.

Sonu - Falak dekhun...
Dhadaam.
Falak has fainted.

Sonu - Haaiii....
Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadhaaaaaam.
Pragya, Preeti, Dhara, Kshirodini, Kalpana, Kirtilata and Tikshu have fainted.

Sonu - Mujhe raat din, bass mujhe chahti ho...
Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadaam Dhadhaaaaaam...

Yasmin Siddiq - I Love ❤️ Sonu Nigam you
Yasmin Siddiq - I Love 💕 Sonu Nigam you’re
Yasmin Siddiq - I Love 💗 Sonu Nigam your

...Dhadaam Dhadhaaaaaam......
Hansa has fainted.

THE END

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Keep smiling friends. Keep ROFL. Life is Beautiful 😊